From a caterpillar to a Butterfly!!

I told you awhile back that I would post my testimony some day, well here it is. I hope it is a blessing to you, and that you share it with someone male or female. I believe it will help them. I needed to read this again myself. I spoke this at our churches women's trip to Tennessee a couple of years ago. God was all over it, I cant write that way without Him. He is awesome and I love Him with all of my heart and soul.

It starts out with a story I found on the Internet while I was looking up butterflies.

YOUR COMFORT ZONE

Winter is ending. You’ve been wrapped in a cocoon of a warm house or warm clothes to stay comfortable and protected from the elements.
Now spring is arriving. The weather is warming up, the flowers are blooming and the clear skies and sun are pulling you out into the beautiful world. You no longer need your protective cocoon.
This changing of the seasons draws you out of your cocoon of warmth to the warming rays of the sun. As the butterfly spreads its wings as it emerges from it's cocoon, it's life is transformed. The caterpillar was limited to crawling slowing from leaf to leaf. The world has opened up to the butterfly; it is no longer bound to the area it could crawl to.
Your life can be transformed like the butterfly's. Most of you live in a cocoon of safety, called your comfort zone, to protect yourselves from the elements. You are accustomed to the routine of your lives. You know what to expect each day as you crawl out from under your warm covers.
Your comfort zone keeps you safe. But your comfort zone limits you, just as the caterpillar is limited when compared to the butterfly. To the caterpillar, life is fine. There are branches to climb. There are leaves to eat. It can even use the leaves to hide from the birds of prey.
But to the observer who can see the whole picture the reality of the caterpillar's life is very limited. That observer can see the possibilities of transformation that lie ahead for the caterpillar. That observer can also see the possibilities of transformation that can lie ahead for you.
Your comfort zone limits you in the same way the caterpillar is limited. The vision of the caterpillar is limited to a few feet around it. It cannot even imagine a life beyond it's vision. But the caterpillar is lucky. Nature has provided a path that will transform it into a butterfly with a hugely expanded vision. It doesn't have a choice.
You also have a path of possibilities. But instead of nature making the transformation for you, you have to do it yourselves. You do have a choice. You do have a vision beyond your comfort zone. But your comfort zone wraps you tightly to keep you safe. You may not be able to even imagine the possibilities in store for you that the observer can see, but you do have a vision beyond your life today.
Break out of your limiting comfort zone, just like the butterfly emerges from it's cocoon. Do what is uncomfortable. Do what scares you. Do what stretches your limits. The more you do, the more your vision expands and the more you can see is possible for you.
Breaking out of your comfort zone does amazing things for you. It transforms your life, just like the butterfly's life is transformed. Today, just like the caterpillar, you cannot even imagine what your life can be like. But just like the butterfly, you can emerge from your comfort zone into a life of limitless possibilities and beauty.

MY TESTIMONY: BY UYLONDA SMITH

I WOULD LIKE TO START BY SAYING THAT I AM A BUTTERFLY. I ONCE WAS A CATERPILLAR READY TO STAY IN MY COCOON AND EVENTUALLY DIE THERE. BUT, GOD RAISED ME UP OUT OF MY PIT TO BE USED FOR HIS GLORY. THE TRIALS I WENT THROUGH MADE ME STRONGER IN MY WALK WITH HIM. I USED TO FOCUS ON ME AND MY PROBLEMS IN THE SMALL AREA I COULD CRAWL TO. BUT, GOD CHANGED ME WHEN I ASKED HIM TO HELP ME AND I BEGAN SEEKING HIM. I AM FREE TODAY FROM THE TRIALS OF MY PAST. FREE TO WORK FOR THE LORD TO DO HIS WILL, AND TO HELP OTHERS OVERCOME THEIR TRIALS AND FLY AWAY TO JESUS!!!

TO BE A BUTTERFLY YOU HAVE TO HAVE BEEN A CATERPILLAR FIRST. WE HAVE TO HAVE STRUGGLES TO BE ABLE TO BE SET FREE, AND SEE WHERE GOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN IN OUR LIFE.

THE TITLE OF MY DEVOTION IS…….

FROM A CATERPILLAR TO A BUTTERFLY

A CATERPILLAR IN A COCOON IS UGLY AND LOCKED UP.
A BUTTERFLY IS BEAUTIFUL AND FREE.

Ps. 138:7 says Thou I walk in the midst of trouble thou wilt revive me; thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me.

FIVE YEARS AGO GOD TOOK ME
FROM A CATERPILLAR, AND CHANGED ME
INTO A BUTTERFLY BECAUSE I HAD BEEN PRAYING AND STUDYING ON HOW TO BE FREE FROM THE CHAINS OF BONDAGE I WAS IN.

GOD TOLD ME THROUGH MY WRITING, STUDYING AND PRAYER THAT I WAS BEING TRANSFORMED FROM THE CATERPILLAR IN THE SAFETY OF MY SELF INFLICTED COCOON INTO HIS BUTTERFLY.

AT THE TIME, I HAD BEEN PREPARING FOR A
DAY TRIP WITH THE LADIES IN OUR BIBLE
STUDY GROUP. THEY WERE ALSO MY FRIENDS AND
PRAYER PARTNERS.

GOD HAD TOLD ME TO BE HEALED OF THE PAIN HOLDING ME IN BONDAGE I HAD TO TELL WHAT ALL HE HAD DONE FOR ME. NOT JUST WHAT I FELT COMFORTABLE TELLING. NOT TELLING ANYONE AND NOT GETTING RID OF IT THE DEVIL COULD STILL USE IT AGAINST ME, AND GET INTO MY MIND WITH IT. I WAS AFRAID TO TELL. AND THE DEVIL MADE SURE I STAYED THAT WAY, UNTIL I DID AS GOD HAD SAID TO DO.

I NEEDED TO SHARE THIS WITH LADIES I FELT SAFE TELLING IT TO. TO GO AND JUST TELL ANYONE WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN GODS WAY OF HEALING ME. IN THIS ENVIRONMENT I WAS SAFE TO NOT BE JUDGED OR TALKED ABOUT. TO TELL JUST ANYONE WOULD HAVE BEEN FUTILE IN GODS WORK. I NEEDED HIM TO HEAL ME THE WAY HE TOLD ME TO.

THE LADIES AND I WENT TO CUMBERLAND FALLS FOR THE DAY, AND IT WAS AWESOME. THE PRESENCE OF GOD WAS SO STRONG ALL DAY, AND WE PRAYED FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF BEFORE I STOOD TO TELL MY STORY, OF BEING TRANSFORMED FROM A CATERPILLAR INTO A BUTTERFLY.

GOD TOOK THE PAIN I HAD WENT THROUGH THAT WAS MEANT FOR EVIL, AND TURNED IT INTO GOOD WHEN I LET GO OF IT AND GAVE IT TO HIM THAT DAY. MY LIFE CHANGED FROM THERE.

MY HUSBAND WAS SAVED 8 YEARS AGO ON OCTOBER 29TH, 2000. SO I’LL GO BACK A LITTLE BIT TO THEN. A YEAR OR SO AFTER MY HUSBAND GOT SAVED I WAS DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD TALKING TO GOD. I WAS TELLING HIM HOW I WAS STILL HURTING, THAT EVEN THOUGH MY HUSBAND WAS SAVED, AND ITS WHAT I HAD PRAYED FOR, FOR YEARS I WAS STILL HURTING. I SAID GOD, I DON’T LOVE HIM. I’M ONLY WITH HIM BECAUSE OF YOU. I WANT TO LEAVE. I HATE HIM MY LOVE FOR HIM IS DEAD. (INSTANTLY I HEARD GOD SPEAK TO WHERE I TURNED MY HEAD TO SEE) HE SAID…I CAN RAISE THE DEAD, IF YOU WILL LET ME, AND I WILL MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE BETTER THAN IT EVER WAS BEFORE. I WAS SHOCKED!! NOT BECAUSE GOD SPOKE TO ME, BUT BECAUSE I HAD NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY! I’D ALWAYS THOUGHT OF GOD RAISING DEAD PEOPLE, BUT A DEAD LOVE? SO, I SAID OK GOD, I’LL TRUST YOU, BUT YOU HAVE TO LOVE HIM THROUGH ME WITH YOUR LOVE, BECAUSE I’M NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO LOVE HIM MYSELF RIGHT NOW.

EZ 37:3-5 SAYS…AND HE SAID UNTO ME, SON OF MAN, CAN THESE BONES LIVE? AND I ANSWERED, O LORD GOD, THOU KNOWEST. 4. AGAIN HE SAID UNTO ME, PROPHESY UPON THESE BONES, AND SAY UNTO THEM, O YE DRY BONES, HEAR THE WORD OF THE LORD. 5. THUS SAITH THE LORD GOD UNTO THESE BONES; BEHOLD, I WILL CAUSE BREATH TO ENTER INTO YOU, AND YE SHALL LIVE:

DO WHAT GOD SAYS AND HE BRINGS LIFE INTO YOUR SITUATION. IF YOU WILL LET HIM. Bro. GREG SLAYTON PREACHED AWHILE BACK ABOUT DRY BONES AND SAID WHAT GOD ASKS OF YOU, IT CAN LIVE. GOD ASKED ME TO LET HIM RAISE UP MY MARRIAGE SO IT COULD LIVE. BUT HE WOULDN’T GO AGAINST MY WILL. GOD WON’T GO AGAINST YOUR WILL TO HOLD ON TO THE CHAINS. HE’S WAITING UNTIL YOUR TIRED OF THEM. REPENT OF YOUR WILL, AND WRONGS, AND YOU WILL GET LOOSED. I WAS STANDING IN THE WAY AND I HAD TO LET GOD MOVE FOR ME. I HAD TO LISTEN TO HIM! AND YOU HAVE TO TAKE TIME FOR GOD FOR THINGS TO CHANGE. OBEY HIM!!! NOTHING HAPPENS FAST. LOOK AT THE PROCESS THE CATERPILLAR GOES THROUGH TO BECOME A BUTTERFLY! A CATERPILLAR DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO BE A BUTTERFLY. IT HAS TO RELY ON GOD TO MAKE THE CHANGE.

WELL I WENT ON TO TELL THE LADIES HOW I SUFFERED IN MY MARRIAGE BECAUSE OF THE DRUG ADDICTION MY HUSBAND HAD, AND I TOLD THEM OF THE PHYSICAL ABUSE I SUFFERED. I’D BEEN WITNESSING ABOUT THIS FOR 2 YEARS AND I WAS STILL IN BONDAGE, UNTIL I ALSO LET GO OF THE PAIN OF THE ADULTERY HE HAD COMMITED. I HAD KEPT THIS A SECRET, TELLING NO ONE. IT HURT TO MUCH. BY DOING THIS AND KEEPING IT TO MYSELF THE DEVIL COULD PLAY ME LIKE A FIDDLE AND HE DID. EVERY DAY I STRUGGLED BECAUSE I HADN’T LET IT GO. BY NOT TELLING ANYONE I STAYED IN BONDAGE AND WAS CHAINED TO THE PAIN. I COULD TESTIFY ABOUT WHAT GOD HAD SET ME FREE FROM IN MY MARRIAGE WITH THE DRUGS AND ABUSE AND IT SOUNDED GOOD! BUT I HAD BEEN SET FREE FROM THE ADULTERY AS WELL, BUT NO ONE KNEW IT. I WOULD MOVE FORWARD IN MY WALK 2 STEPS AND BE DRAGGED BACK 3. I KEPT SAYING GOD WHY?! HE KEPT TELLING ME, AND THEN ONE DAY I HEARD HIM. HE SAID I WANT TO USE ALL OF YOUR TESTIMONY FOR MY GLORY NOT JUST WHAT YOU FEEL LIKE TELLING. TELL IT AND BE SET FREE AND HELP SET OTHERS FREE TOO! HOW COULD HE USE ME COMPLETELY IF I WAS AFRAID AND EMBARRASSED ABOUT WHAT I HAD BEEN SET FREE FROM? THE DRUGS AND ABUSE I COULD DEAL WITH, BUT THE ADULTERY TORE ME APART. IT SENT ME INTO A DEPRESSION TO WHERE I WAS IN A COCOON AND I DIDN’T WANT TO COME OUT. BUT, IT ALSO SENT ME INTO THE COCOON WITH GOD. HE WAS WITH ME ALWAYS.

I WAS AT A POINT IN MY LIFE AFTER ALL OF THIS MESS HAPPENED THAT I WROTE IN MY JOURNAL AND DIDN’T WRITE IN IT AGAIN FOR THREE AND A HALF YEARS. I HAD KEPT A JOURNAL SINCE I WAS 12. I PICKED IT UP ONE DAY TO SEE WHY I HADN’T WROTE IN IT FOR SO LONG. THIS IS WHY. MAY 1999.… I STILL HURT EVERYDAY, I AM NOW. I LIVE BY GODS GRACE, IF IT WEREN’T FOR HIM HOLDING ME I’D BE NUTS. I CAN DRIVE MYSELF CRAZY THINKING. I MEAN IF I THOUGHT ABOUT IT ANYMORE THAN I DO, AND IF GOD WASN’T IN MY HEART AND LIFE I WOULD BE NUTS. I DON’T KNOW WHERE ELSE I’D BE. IT’S A DAILY STRUGGLE TO STAY AND A STRUGGLE NOT TO LEAVE. ALL I CAN SAY IS THANK GOD I'M OK. MY KIDS NEED ME. I NEED ME AND I WANT ME BACK, BUT I’VE CLOSED AND LOCKED THE DOOR AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO OPEN IT BACK UP. GOD KNOWS I WANT TO, BUT I'M AFRAID TO PUT THE EFFORT INTO IT. I DON’T KNOW WHATS OUT THERE IF I DO. I FEEL LIKE IT WOULD BE OK BUT AT THE SAME TIME I'M TO TIRED TO TAKE THE EFFORT TO WORK ON IT. I PRAY FOR ME AND MY FAMILY DAILY. I TALK TO GOD ALL THE TIME. HE IS MY STRENGTH. I HAVE NONE. HE’S DOING IT ALL FOR ME. HE BRUSHES MY HAIR, AND PUTS ON MY MAKE UP AND CLEANS THE HOUSE AND BUYS THE GROCERIES AND WASHES THE DISHES AND KISSES DELORNE AND BREATHES FOR ME AND HOLDS MY KIDS, I HONESTLY DON’T DO ANYTHING. I’M PARALYZED AND GOD IS MOVING MY BODY TO KEEP IT FROM DYING.

I WAS IN BONDAGE AND CHAINED TO THE PAIN. I COULDN’T LET GO OF IT. I NEEDED THE PAIN TO SURVIVE.

WELL, A YEAR AND A HALF LATER MY HUSBAND GOT SAVED AND WE STARTED LIVING FOR GOD AND GETTING INVOLVED IN CHURCH. I WAS CHANGING MY LIFE AND I WAS RELEASED FROM THE CHAINS OF BONDAGE BY LOOKING TO JESUS FOR MY STRENGTH, BUT BECAUSE OF MY UNBELIEF I WOULD STAND THERE AFRAID TO MOVE BECAUSE MAYBE I REALLY WASN’T FREE. TO BE TRULY FREE, YOU HAVE TO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE FREE. THEN SOMETHING GOOD WOULD HAPPEN AND I’D FEEL FREE AND GO FORWARD, ONLY TO GET TO THE END OF MY CHAIN AND IT WOULD YANK ME BACK TO THE SAFETY OF MY COCOON. THEN I’D FEEL FREE A LITTLE LATER AND GO FORWARD LIKE A BARKING DOG RUNNING ON A CHAIN AND THE CHAIN WOULD YANK ME BACK AND I’D GO CRYING TO MY COCOON AGAIN. SAFETY THERE-STAY THERE IT’S TO HARD TO LET GO OF THE CHAIN. BUT
WITH GOD YOU HAVE THE POWER TO DROP THE CHAINS AND FLY AWAY.

TO BE FREE, I HAD TO PREPARE MYSELF.
EPH 6:13 SAYS: WHEREFORE TAKE UNTO YOU THE WHOLE ARMOUR OF GOD, THAT YE MAY BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND IN THE EVIL DAY, AND HAVING DONE ALL, TO STAND. OUR ARMOUR IS HIS WORD. WE HAVE TO PREPARE TO BE ABLE TO STAND AND ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING FOR GOD. PREPARE BY DAILY STUDY OF GODS WORD AND PRAY. THE REASON WE GET YANKED BACK DOWN BY THE CHAIN WHEN WE’RE AT THE END, IS BECAUSE WE HAVEN’T DONE ALL TO PREPARE TO STAND. JOYCE MEYER SAID…IT’S EASY TO QUIT, IT TAKES FAITH TO GO THROUGH. YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH IT! KEEP GOING TOWARD GOD, DON’T STOP!!

WELL I WAS LIVING MY LIFE BUT, I WAS STILL STRUGGLING WHEN I HAD A DREAM THAT I PULLED A WORM OUT OF MY EYE, AND I WAS EMBARRASSED IN THE DREAM! I KNEW IT WASN’T JUST ANY DREAM. IT WAS DIFFERENT THAN ANY DREAM I’D EVER HAD BEFORE. I ASKED GOD WHAT DOES IT MEAN BECAUSE I COULDN’T LET IT GO. I KNEW IT WAS MORE THAN A DREAM. AND I HAD TO FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANT. IT WAS A HEALING DREAM. GOD TOLD ME TO LOOK UP THE DEFINITION OF EACH OUTSTANDING WORD IN THE STRONGS CONCORDANCE I DID, I WAS FLOORED!! I FOUND OUT I WAS STILL CHAINED TO THE PAST AND THE PAIN. I WAS ONLY ACTING FREE.

THE DEFINITION OF MY DREAM IS…….

THE WORD PULLED MEANS IN HEBREW: TO TEAR AWAY, DESTROY OR PLUCK THE ROOT, DELIVER UP, RESTORE, SHOOT FORTH AND UP. AND, TO BE HEALED AND BRING FORTH CHANGE!!!

FREE LIKE A BUTTERFLY TO GO UP TO JESUS. HALLELUJAH!!!!

THE WORD WORM IN HEBREW MEANS SENSE OF BREEDING, RAPIDLY BRED. BUT A ROOT OF THE WORD IS TO RISE, EXALT, GET ONESELF UP, MOUNT UP!!
THE WORM IS A REFERENCE TO THE CATERPILLAR. A CATERPILLAR TURNS INTO A
BUTTERFLY AND RISES UP, IS EXALTED, MOUNTS UP AND FLIES TOWARD JESUS!!

NOW THE WORD EYE IN HEBREW MEANS TO
STAY IN A GIVEN PLACE OR STATE, RELATION
OR EXPECTANCY, AND TO DWELL.

IN THE GREEK EYE MEANS TO WEAR AWAY, A WOUND, A RUT OR WORN PATH, TO GNAW OR CHEW OR TO EAT. IMAGINE IF YOU COULD SEE YOUR SOUL AND THE PATH OF PAIN THAT’S BEEN WORN LIKE THIS. LET IT GO!!

HOLDING ONTO THE PAIN ATE AWAY AT ME AND GNAWED AT MY SOUL. THERE WAS A WORN BEATEN PATH BACK TO MY PAIN. I HAD TO LET GO!!!

SEE; I ALLOWED MY THOUGHTS TO BREED IN MY MIND AND KEEP ME BOUND TO MY PAIN. THE PATH TO IT WAS WELL WORN. I WENT THERE EVERY DAY. I WAS IN A PLACE OF EXPECTANCY, I EXPECTED TO FEEL BAD, SO I DID. I STAYED IN THE GIVEN PLACE AND DWELLED AND DWELLED ON MY THOUGHTS. AND AS LONG AS I DID , THEY WORE AWAY AT MY SOUL.

THE ONLY WAY TO BE FREE IS TO CAST IT OUT IN JESUS NAME EVERY TIME THE THOUGHTS COME TO YOU. EVENTUALLY THE DEVIL QUITS THROWING THEM SO MUCH BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW TO FIGHT THEM. JUST DO IT! I HAD A LADY CALL ME ONE DAY AND SHE WAS STRUGGLING IN HER MARRIAGE BECAUSE HER HUSBAND ISN’T SAVED. AFTER AWHILE SHE SAID UYLONDA, HOW DO YOU NOT THINK ABOUT WHAT ALL HE’S DONE TO YOU ANYMORE? AND I TOLD HER… I JUST DON’T. I LEARNED TO THINK ABOUT JESUS, AND HOW HE SAYS IN ISAIAH 26:3 THOU SHALT KEEP HIM IN PERFECT PEACE WHOSE MIND IS STAYED ON THEE!!

PAIN MAKES YOU CHANGE. IT’S MOTIVATING. WITHOUT IT WE WOULD SIT AND DO NOTHING TO MAKE THINGS CHANGE. THE FIRST TIME I EVER WENT TO A COUNSELOR WAS THE FIRST TIME DELORNE LEFT ME. HE WAS GONE FOR THREE WEEKS. THE COUNSELOR ASKED ME WHY NOW? WHY NOT BEFORE? THE ANSWER WAS BECAUSE I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN I HAD TO DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT BETTER. MOST OF THE TIME THIS IS WHAT WE DO. WE WAIT UNTIL THE PAIN IS SO BAD THAT WE FINALLY REACH OUT. PAIN CATAPULTED ME TO GOD. KEEP LOOKING TO HIM, HAVE FAITH, WHICH IS HOPE. ACT ON IT AND DON’T STOP.

I TURNED TO GOD AND PLEADED FOR HELP AND HE ANSWERED. I KEPT SAYING GOD, CHANGE HIM AND IT WILL GET BETTER. GOD TOLD ME TO CHANGE. A SAYING I FOUND IS: THE HEART CANNOT BE CHANGED UNTIL THE MIND IS CHANGED.
ROM. 12:2 SAYS AND BE NOT CONFORMED TO THIS WORLD: BUT BE YE TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND, I ALWAYS ASKED HOW? HOW DO I CHANGE GOD? FINALLY I REALIZED HOW. PRAYER AND STUDY IS HOW YOU ARE RENEWED. GET INTO GODS WORD TO CHANGE. I HAD TO RENEW MY MIND, LET GO OF WHO I WAS, AND BECOME WHO HE IS AND WHAT HE WANTED ME TO BE. I HAD TO LET CHRIST LIVE IN ME TRANSFORMING ME INTO THE LIKENESS OF HIM.
2 COR.3:18 SAYS BUT WE ALL, WITH OPEN FACE BEHOLDING AS IN A GLASS THE GLORY OF THE LORD, ARE CHANGED INTO THE SAME IMAGE FROM GLORY TO GLORY, EVEN AS BY THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD. I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO CHANGE WHEN I STARTED SEEKING HIM FIRST. I WAS LIKE THE CATERPILLAR---HE HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO CHANGE INTO A BUTTERFLY.

HOW DO YOU GET TO THE POINT OF FREEDOM FROM THE CATERPILLAR IN YOUR SAFE LITTLE COCOON OF MISERY, TO THE BUTTERFLY?!!! FREE TO GO ON IN LIFE BEING WHAT GOD SAID YOU CAN BE?

WELL MAYBE YOU WANT THINGS TO CHANGE, BUT YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN. YOU LOOK AT SOMEONE WHO HAS CHANGED AND HOPE THAT JUST BY LISTENING TO WHAT GOD HAS DONE FOR THEM, IT WILL MAKE A CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE? I USE TO DO JUST THAT. I WOULD LISTEN TO JOYCE MEYER, PAULA WHITE, AND OTHER WOMEN SPEAK ON THE CHANGES IN THEIR LIFE. IT WOULD EXCITE ME TO CHANGE, BUT I WOULD THINK THAT I LEARNED ENOUGH BY LISTENING TO THEM NOW ITS GOING TO CHANGE ME, BECAUSE I HAD HEARD FROM GOD THROUGH THEM!! JESUS SAYS TO GET UP AND DO IT YOURSELF. THE SECOND HALF OF ROMANS 12:2 SAYS THAT YE MAY PROVE WHAT IS THAT
GOOD, AND ACCEPTABLE, AND PERFECT WILL OF GOD. PROVE YOURSELF WORTHY. LIKE THE MAN IN THE PARABLE OF THE TALENTS. HE HAD ONE TALENT AND BURIED IT. HE WAS AFRAID TO TRY FOR MORE, AFRAID HE WOULD FAIL. SO HE ENDED UP WITH WHAT HE ALREADY HAD. GOD WANTS YOU TO MULTIPLY YOUR TALENTS, SO GET UP AND PUT YOUR TALENTS TO WORK FOR YOU. YOU SAY, WHY BOTHER IF I'M GOING TO FAIL? GIVE IT TO GOD AND WATCH IT CHANGE. YOU HAVE THE MEANS IN FRONT OF YOU. HE’S GIVEN THEM TO YOU, USE THEM.. WHAT ARE THEY?…………..

1) PRAYER: DAILY, NOT JUST THE ONES YOU PRAYED YESTERDAY. THEIR NOT MULTIPLYING YOU TODAY. PRAY DAILY. REALLY PRAY. GET WITH GOD ALONE AND LISTEN TO WHAT HE WANTS YOU TO PRAY. WRITE YOUR PRAYERS DOWN. GOD GIVES YOU ANSWERS THROUGH PRAYER--MULTIPLYING YOUR TALENTS. ONE PRAYER YESTERDAY IS NOT ENOUGH TO MOVE YOU TODAY. TO DO HIS WILL PRAY TODAY. MULTIPLY YOUR TALENTS. GOD SAID TO.

2) READ AND STUDY HIS WORD: GET FED. MATT. 4:4 SAYS IT IS WRITTEN MAN SHALL NOT LIVE BY BREAD ALONE, BUT BY EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDETH OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD. MULTIPLICATION OF FOOD MAKES YOU GROW. YOU CAN’T LIVE TODAY ON WHAT YOU ATE YESTERDAY. YOU HAVE TO READ HIS WORD DAILY. (MULTIPLY YOUR FOOD, MULTIPLY YOUR WORK FOR HIM) THROUGH PRAYER AND STUDY: TO FORGIVE, TO LET GO OF ANGER, HATE, BITTERNESS, VENGEANCE, ANYTHING THAT GOES AGAINST HIS WORD. BUT, TO DO IT YOU HAVE TO HAVE BEEN FED. YOU HAVE TO HAVE STRENGTH TO LIVE. YOUR STRENGTH COMES FROM PRAYER AND HIS WORD. IT IS LIFE TO US. OUR SPIRIT HAS TO BE FED, SO THEREFORE; DAILY READING OF THE BIBLE IS A NECESSITY TO SURVIVE. PS 119:105 SAYS THY WORD IS A LAMP UNTO MY FEET. AND A LIGHT UNTO MY PATH. THIS IS WHAT HE IS SAYING: READ AND STUDY MY WORD AND YOU WILL KNOW THE WAY TO GO AND WHAT TO DO. I FOUND A QUOTE FROM A BOOK OR SOMETHING I HAD READ AND IT SAYS CHRISTIAN GROWTH IS A DAILY PROCESS OF TAKING OFF THE OLD SELF ATTITUDES, BELIEFS, AND BEHAVIORS WHICH REFLECT THE DARK SIDE OF OUR NATURE WHICH IS SIN, AND CHANGING TO THOSE CHARACTERISTICS THAT REFLECT THE PRESENCE OF CHRIST IN OUR LIVES. IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO RENEW THE SPIRIT OF OUR MIND. EPH 4:22-24 SAYS: THAT YE PUT OFF CONCERNING THE FORMER CONVERSATION THE OLD MAN, WHICH IS CORRUT ACCORDING TO THE DECEITFUL LUSTS; 23 AND BE RENEWED IN THE SPIRIT OF YOUR MIND; 24 AND THAT YE PUT ON THE NEW MAN, WHICH AFTER GOD IS CREATED IN RIGHTEOUSNESS AND TRUE HOLINESS.

MULTIPLY YOUR TALENTS. USE THEM (DON’T BURY THEM IN YOU) WHEN YOU USE WHAT GOD HAS DONE FOR YOU TO HELP OTHERS YOUR MULTIPLYING YOUR TALENTS! PUT THEM OUT THERE TO BENEFIT OTHERS AND MAKE A PROFIT., DO THIS TO CHANGE. 1 JOHN 5:4 SAYS FOR WHATSOEVER IS BORN OF GOD, OVERCOMETH THE WORLD. QUIT BURYING YOUR PAIN AND FEEDING ON YOU PAST.

IS YOUR LIFE THE SAME TODAY AS A YEAR AGO OR YEARS AGO? HOW MANY WILL SAY (TO YOURSELF) OH THINGS HAVE CHANGED. AND THEY HAVE……
YOU LISTEN ONLY TO CHRISTIAN MUSIC, WATCH TBN ALL THE TIME, GO TO CHURCH ALL THE TIME, YOUR INVOLVED IN CHURCH ACTIVITIES ALL THE TIME ETC… BUT SPIRITUALLY NOTHINGS CHANGED!!! YOU’RE THE SAME GROUCHY PERSON AS BEFORE, YOU HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE ALL THE TIME, AND ON AND ON. AND YOU SAY WHY IS THIS? WELL, BECAUSE YOUR FLESH HAS CHANGED SOME THINGS TO PLEASE YOU AND MAKE YOU KNOW THERES CHANGES BUT, YOUR SPIRIT IS STILL THE SAME NO CHANGE!
PROVERBS 15:13 SAYS A MERRY HEART MAKETH A CHEERFUL COUNTENANCE, BUT BY SORROW OF THE HEART THE SPIRIT IS BROKEN. ACT THE WAY GOD SAYS TO, EVEN IF YOUR NOT THERE YET, AND IT CHANGES YOU. SLOWLY YOU START TO CHANGE AND YOUR NOT IN TOUCH WITH YOUR PAIN. YOUR IN TOUCH WITH GOD. THIS IS HOW YOU CHANGE FOREVER.

A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE COMFORTABLE BEING BURDONED. THEY FEEL LIKE THEY DESERVE TO FEEL THIS WAY BECAUSE OF WHATS HAPPENED OR IS HAPPENING TO THEM. THE TRUTH IS, IF JESUS IS YOUR SAVIOR YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE MISERABLE. AND IF YOUR NOT SAVED, RECEIVE JESUS AND HE WILL HELP YOU. HE SET YOU FREE WHEN HE DIED ON THE CROSS. LET IT GO, WHATEVER IT IS! DON’T KEEP IT JUST BECAUSE ITS YOUR PAIN AND YOUR COMFORTABLE WITH IT, AND, YOU ALSO DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO THINK OF WHO YOU WOULD BE WITHOUT IT. THINK ON JESUS AND HOW HE SAID I WILL SET YOU FREE. JOHN 8:31-32 SAYS… THEN SAID JESUS TO THOSE JEWS WHICH BELIEVED ON HIM, IF YE CONTINUE IN MY WORD, THEN ARE YE MY DISCIPLES INDEED; 32: AND YE SHALL KNOW THE TRUTH, AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE. ITS YOUR CHOICE TO STAY CHAINED TO PAIN OR TO STEP UP AND STEP OUT OF IT.
PS. 37:23 SAYS THE STEPS OF A GOOD MAN ARE ORDERED BY THE LORD, AND HE DELIGHTETH IN THY WAY.

STEP UP AND STEP OUT AND GET WHAT GOD HAS FOR YOU, PEACE-LOVE-JOY-HAPPINESS. COME ON… WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
TAKE THE STEP TODAY STAND FOR JESUS. LET IT ALL GO WHATEVER IT IS, AND BE FREE! FREE LIKE THE BUTTERFLY.

LOVE YA, UYLONDA

My mind is blank as what to write escapes me. I know I haven't written anything in three weeks, but I haven't known what to say. That is truly unusual for me, I always have something to say! So much has been going on that I don't know where to start. I do know that Jesus is calling His people to spend more time with Him. It seems to me that when I say this to people they usually don't get it. Jesus is just like us, only He is Holy and our soon coming King. I also know that not everyone hears from God in the same way. I want to share with you something that was in my devotion I do with my husband, I cried when I read it. It is Jesus talking to us and people just don't get it, He is calling His people to Him in every way possible, We just have to listen!

I just had to send a note to tell you how much I love you and care about you. I saw you yesterday as you were walking with your friends. I waited all day hoping you would want to talk with me also. As evening drew near, I gave you a sunset to close your day and a cool breeze to rest you. And I waited. But you never came. It hurt me, but I still love you because I am your friend.
I saw you fall asleep last night and I longed to touch your brow. So I spilled moonlight on your pillow and your face. Again I waited, wanting to rush down so we could talk. I have so many gifts for you. But you awakened late the next day and rushed back to work. My tears were in the rain.
Today you looked so sad, so all alone. It makes my heart ache because I understand. My friends let me down and hurt me so many times too. But I love you. Oh, if you would only listen to me. I really love you. I try to tell you in the blue sky and in the quiet green grass. I whisper it in the leaves on the trees and breathe it in the colors of the flowers. I shout it to you in the mountain streams and give the birds love songs to sing. I clothe you with warm sunshine and perfume the air with nature's scents. My love for you is deeper than the oceans and bigger than the biggest want or need in your heart.
If you only knew how much I want to help you. I want you to meet my Father. He wants to help you too. My Father is that way, you know. Just call me, ask me, talk with me. I have so much to share with you. Yet I won't hassle you. I'll wait because I love you
Your Friend, Jesus

This is what God wants of us to know. He wants a relationship with us without excuses as to why we can't find time for Him. I hear so many excuses myself from people that it amazes me, so I can only imagine how God feels. God talks to us individually, and in those conversations it is different for everyone. You can hear from the Lord for many reasons and in many ways. Don't deny them. God does not have to come down and speak literally to us, He speaks to us in our spirit, softly, quietly, gently. Just listen and you can hear Him. What is it He is saying to you? In the bible it says Be still and know that I am God. Ps. 46:10. He wants us to hear Him and listen to Him. Just get alone with Him in a quiet place and be still. He is God, and He will speak to you. It is awesome when He does. What is it you may need an answer to? If you give Him time, He will hear you.

Love you, Uylonda

Well here I am down, but not out. The Lord is in control. The enemy is trying to destroy our life and we are not going to let him. The bible says in Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. So there you have it. We are suffering, but I take it with the love of Christ. If He suffered for me I can suffer for Him. It does not make it feel any better in my flesh, but my spirit is at peace with it. I may not always know what to say when I'm talking and hurting, but know that my faith in the Lord is NOT diminished in any way. We are on a path the Lord has laid before us, and nothing will stand in His way of accomplishing it; if we are in His will. In Phil 4:6 it says be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. v7 and the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. It means don't worry, no matter how sad you are, or how upset you are, or how bad the situation is; don't worry. Leave it with the Lord. I have talked about my fears this week with people, but it does not mean I am letting myself be overwhelmed with it. It is just when we dwell on things continually that it overwhelms us. I am dwelling on the Lord. In times past I would have dwelled on this and everyone would have known it. I would talk and talk and talk, negatively about things. Now I don't, my fears do come out, but I'm human and that's OK. But, it's wrong to let it change my perception of life and my faith in the Lord. I heard a preacher say that if your doing something for God and it seems like everything is coming against you and hell is right in front of you, God is right there to. If we weren't getting close to the promise that God has for us the enemy wouldn't be trying so hard to destroy what God has built up. That's exciting to me. It means the more Satan throws at us the closer we are. It's how we handle what he throws that affects us. I am praying for this to pass soon, and I will continue to pray until it does. My fears wont take over, my faith in the Lord will. If I gave up and said OK I can't do this what does it accomplish? It doesn't accomplish anything, but defeat. I have to rejoice in the Lord, Phil 4:4 says Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Just quoting these verses makes me feel better. The enemy wants us to feel bad. If he can get us to concentrate on the things going wrong in our life, it gets us to take our mind off God. This is the very plan he has set before us, to destroy us. But, God says in Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. It's a Philippians night. It's a good word from the Lord that's why. Feel your pain, but don't let it destroy you. The bible also says in Ecc. 1:9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is nothing new under the sun. Ecc 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time pluck up that which is planted: 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and time of peace.

God is in control, I will praise Him and let Him know that I believe in Him. The way you talk to your earthly father is how God wants you to talk to Him, with faith that it's OK to talk to Him. So, talk to Lord and see what He has to say to you. Thank you God for listening to me, and making me feel better.

Thanks to my dad for talking to me tonight. I love you.

Please pray for my family, Uylonda

Life

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.'

Love Uylonda

I am down, but not out. I have no energy today. I have dealt with a family crisis all day. I feel wiped out. Satan is trying to tear down what God is building up. But, when you stand strong in the Lord the enemy will not win. I am so tired, it's exhausting.

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!!

You know that saying when life hands you lemons make lemonade. Well I'm trying to, but my heart is aching. There are some things in life you just don't understand. Why do people go and do what they say they never would? I know I am just in a battle to see how my faith will stand, but it hurts. Here is a poem from my daily devotional, it just so happened to be today's devotion. I prayed that it would give me peace before I read my devotion. I asked God to give me a word from Him of peace, He did!!

He sat by the fire of sevenfold heat,
As He looked at the precious ore,
And closer He bent with a searching gaze
As He heated it more and more,
He knew He had ore that could stand the test,
And He wanted the finest gold
To mold as a crown for the King to wear,
Set with gems with a price untold.
So He laid our gold in the burning fire,
Though we would have asked for delay,
And He watched the dross that we had not seen,
And it melted and passed away.
And the gold grew brighter and yet more bright,
But our eyes were so dim with tears,
We saw but the fire---not the Master's hand,
And questioned with anxious fears.
Yet our gold shone out with a richer glow,
As it mirrored a Form above,
That bent over the fire, though unseen by us,
With a look of unspeakable love.
Should we think that it pleases His loving heart
To cause us a moment's pain?
Not so! for He saw through the present cross
The joy of eternal gain.
(So He waited there with a watchful eye,
With a love that is strong and sure,
And His gold did not suffer a bit more heat,
Than was needed to make it pure.)

I pray that what ever may be testing you or trying you, you find peace through God above. He doesn't let anything happen in our lives for nothing. Everything is there to refine us and make us stronger. Count it all blessings to have the tests, He's using it to make your crown of pure gold.

I thank you Father God, for all that you have blessed me with and thank you for trusting me with all these tests.

Be Blessed, Uylonda

Prayer

I love the rain! I truly do, I have never minded if it rains. But, if we have plans to do something outside I don' want it to rain. But, I don't mind the rain. This should of went with last weeks blog, but I just found this picture the other day.

I wanted to write about prayer today. I am starting a bible study on Tuesday mornings called Becoming a woman of prayer. I have wanted to do it for a while, but for some reason never could get it together. Well, now we have the books and I am so excited to start. I can't wait until next Tuesday.

I wanted to do this study about three years ago, but to be honest I wasn't ready. I was afraid! I thought that I might have to pray all the time or something and I wasn't ready for that. Now I am, not to pray all the time, but to do the study. It just shows how much I've grown in my walk with God. I have grown to know that that's not what prayer is about. It is about having a relationship with God. The reason I want to do this study now on prayer is because like everything else, I want to grow more. I had a bible study at our old church for five years. We did other studies of this series. Becoming a woman of freedom, great study!! Also, Becoming a woman of faith, good one to. But, I wasn't willing to do Becoming a woman of prayer then. Prayer scares people. The reason is because we don't understand it. We have been made to think that prayer has to be done a certain way, or it's not right. We think we have to pray eloquently or it won't count. We think we can't pray as good as the next person or so on and so on. Well all of that is not true. There is no one way to pray. If your talking to God, then that's prayer. I believe we need to be taught on prayer in church. People honestly don't know how to pray so therefore; they don't pray. Or their prayers are predictable. The same prayer for dinner, for bed, for church, etc... It never changes. Have you ever heard people pray and it seems like they are saying the same thing over and over even though it's different words, or different people?!

I have told you in past blogs to spend time with God in prayer through alone time with Him. Turn on your music and pray, or get on your knees, or however you feel comfortable doing it. Just pray. Don't be afraid of prayer. The devil doesn't want you to pray because he knows God answers prayer. So spend some time with the Lord, and change your life.

Love you, Uylonda

My Music

Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring me anything that brings you glory, bring the chance to be free! That is what the pain is all about. Without pain we could never be set free, and we would never know the true love of Jesus.

We draw closer to the Lord in hard times, sad times, dark times. When life is going OK, we tend to not need Him as much. He blesses us in the hard times. If you can thank God in the rainy times of life, and come through the storm stronger; than you have been blessed by the Lord.

I know this is true because I have been through the storms, and I came through them blessed. I drew closer to God in the bad times, and He taught me lessons that I never would have known if not for the storm. I had nothing and no one else to lean on, but Jesus and He saved my life. We have to learn how to trust Him. He wants us to praise Him always. If you can't praise Him in the storm, then you most likely won't praise Him when things are going good.

Listen to the words of these songs, and praise Him. No matter what you are going through praise Him. He loves you and wants you free from any pain.

(May we be faithful to do our part, which is simply to suffer for Him, and to place Christ's part on Him and then Leave it there.)
From my devotional: Streams in the Desert.

I know that someone who is reading this is hurting, and needs to know this. Be blessed and trust in Jesus.

Love ya, Uylonda

What has you under control?

What to write about. I guess I should say something about what I've been experiencing with people lately. That would be; being set free of that which controls you. By that, I mean controls your emotions, your attitude and how things affect you, how you handle things. You know-you! How many people have things they need delivered from, or set free from? Some people it's smoking, or drugs, or alcohol. Some people need delivered from demons, and spirits that have free reign in their lives. Some people just need delivered or set free from themselves. They are comfortable being miserable, right where they are. It's become such a way of life for them that the thought of not being bound by something, is scary. They don't know who they would be if they didn't have the junk in their lives. I know, I have been there. Praise the Lord, I don't have that junk anymore. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I was finally set free from it. Now I still have issues from life that pop up, but they are just that, issues. Nothing more. They don't get me depressed and down on life anymore. I just deal with them with God, and go on. I don't always like what it is I'm going through, but I go through it and go on. It no longer has control over me to get me out of control. I gave God control of my life, and it is easier to live because of Him.

The only true way to be set free from that which has control over you is to let God take it. He will, and can if you let Him. I know people who want others to take it away for them. It doesn't work that way. If you want a life that is not out of control, then let God help you. People can't do it for you. You have to be willing to do all you can do to take control of your life, with God's help. And, as I've said before you have to spend time with the Lord. That is the key.

You can go to church, listen to tapes, go to church conferences, talk to counselors or friends, and still never be set free. All of that can be good for you, but it's not the answer. Get together with God to get set free. Why is it that we don't want to take the time to do what is good for us? Is it because it takes effort? The saying that I have heard says (If it's worth having, it's going to take effort to get it.) How much effort have you honestly and truly put into the things that are weighing you down? Have you truly given God the chance to help you? Spend that time with Him, and find out just how much easier it is to find the effort to change.

I know this isn't for everyone, but it's for some. I honestly am asking you to give God a chance and see how your life changes for the better. The truth is, it is that simple. Give it to God. He wants it, and He wants to help you. He is just waiting for you to stand up and say OK God, here I am. Listen to the song I have on here called "Stand" It will bless you, it did me. If I can help any of you please contact me, I would love to talk with you. Just leave me a message, or email me or call me.

Love you, and Bless you, Uylonda

Spending time with the Lord

It's been 5 days since I wrote, so I figured it was time to write again. I enjoy getting your comments. It helps me know that I am helping others, and this is why I am supposed to be writing this blog. What a word-blog! I hope to get comments in the future from someone I don't even know and have them tell me how it's helping them. Won't that be cool? Remember to let your friends and family know about this to, pass it on.

I have been reading and talking to people, men and women both. It seems like everyone is searching for an easy way to solve their problems. Well, I know and easy way!! Spend time with the Lord. That's it... I used to say back in the day when I was a MESS, Lord how do I get through this? He always whispered (spend time with me) So, finally one day I said OK God, there's nothing else to do, so I am going to spend quality time with you. I did, I do, and it transforms your life. God is not asking us to not have a life outside of Him. He is asking us to have a life with Him in it. It hurts Him when we hurt, and He knows that if we would only give in and spend time with Him, our lives would be transformed. Like it says in Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind. How do you renew your mind? Spend time with God, your father, your creator, your friend. You know how it feels when your family and friends here on earth seem to be busy and forget you at times. Well; that's how God feels. He hurts and feels left out when you don't spend time with Him.

How do you spend time with God to change your life? You get alone with Him, and read the bible and pray. It's that simple! It will transform your life. When things happen in your life and your putting God first in your life, you don't get overwhelmed. You have a peace in the midst of the storm. You will not be able to understand how you feel peaceful, but you will be peaceful. And, it does not happen overnight. It takes time for you to get to that point. The more you spend time with Him, the more you grow and learn to not get anxious, and worry. The bible says in Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing just pray. You also can just turn on worship music, close your office or bedroom door and sit quietly and listen to the music. Your spirit will pray for you this way. Sometimes I'm at a loss for words and don't know exactly what to pray so I do this. It is so rewarding. God, just wants us to spend time with Him in prayer, praise or worship. You don't have to spend all day either. If all you can give at first is five minutes, then give five minutes. Over time you will spend more time with Him. But, don't let it overwhelm you to think that you have to spend hours everyday in prayer. God looks on the heart. If He knows your heart is doing it in the right way, He is going to bless you. OH my goodness, how it changes your life. My life would not be where it is today if I had not of spent time with God. I will write my testimony down soon, but not now to much noise in the house. I have to have quite time to write, and not be disturbed.

My husband and I are starting a fellowship this Sunday, October 5th at our house. It is the beginning of a ministry that God has birthed in both of us. We are excited and know that God has something great in store. If you live close by and want to come, email me, call me or whatever and let me know.

I hope this helped someone, Bless you all Uylonda

Thank God for daily aches and pains

Oh my goodness have I been sick!!! Last Wednesday I went to lunch with a friend and when I got home I started feeling tired. Well let me start that over. I didn't want to get up Wednesday morning. I was so tired and I knew something wasn't right. I got up at 10:00 am and I wanted to stay in bed! Anyway, I knew I had lunch plans and I wanted to go. I sure didn't want to stay home it was beautiful outside. I went to lunch and told her my allergies were acting up and I needed some medicine. I took them, it seemed to help after awhile. Later that night I knew I was sick. Thursday when I got up I was so sick!! My throat was so swollen and sore I didn't know what was going on. So, anyway by 10:00 am I was going to the doctor, but I decided to try to treat it myself. I don't normally get sick like this so I thought it was a day or two thing. Well, all night Thursday I was running a high fever and chilling and sweating and literally miserable. My clothes and the covers were soaked with sweat, yet I was freezing. My throat was so swollen I was thinking what if I go to sleep and can't breathe. I woke up about 2:45 am and cast out that demon. I layed hands on my body and prayed for healing on every part of my body. Not just the sickness that was running through me at the time. If we don't have faith that God can heal us how can we believe He can heal others? Anyway, I went back to sleep and woke up- sick!! But, it did not detour my faith in MY God. He healed me along time ago at Calvary. I went to the doctor, got an antibiotic and I have been so sick since. The last time I ate was Wednesday at lunch, (maybe I've lost a pound or two :) I have drank milkshakes from Sonic. They are the only thing I could put in my mouth that didn't HURT. I have layed and watched TV so much that I no longer want to watch it, it is so boring. Delorne asked me yesterday after he got home from a family reunion that I couldn't go to if I had heard that Paul Newman died? I said Delorne, I have watched TV all day what do you think? He laughed. So I feel better now, not great , but better. So, what is the point of telling you all this? Let me go on.

After being sicker than I have been in along time, I had time to think about the pains I complain about everyday. I thanked God for them and still do. I would never want to live in pain like I have had for the last four days. There are people with major diseases that live in major pain every single day of their lives. Including children! I have prayed for these people and have felt for them in away I never did before. If they live with this every day, then who am I with my little backache and heal spurs etc... to complain? I promised God that when I got well I was changing my ways. I will no longer look at how bad I feel, but how grateful I am that I am not sick everyday. I can still cook, and clean, and go shopping, and have lunch with friends and come and go with my aches and pains. To be honest with you since I have been sick I haven't felt the other pains, they have been over shadowed by this sickness. When I am better they have to be over shadowed by my faith that God took care of them for me. I will live differently than before. If there are pains, I won't dwell on them like before. I thank God for what I have been through in the last few days. It opened my eyes to what I am supposed to do. I am not to dwell on the sickness in my body, it over shadows my whole being. Therefore; I can not be who I am to be as a Christian, wife, mother, friend, sister etc... I honestly have given so much of my life to the herniated disc in my back, and my neck, and lately the heal spurs that I have not been able to give God the time I need to. I concentrated on how bad I felt and used it as an excuse not to be able to do anything sometimes. There have been days when all I would do is one or two things and quit because I was letting the pain get me down, mentally more than physically at times. The bible says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13. I wouldn't ask God to strengthen me I just gave in to the pain. That has to change. After this sickness I have come to realize that we can do more if we want to and do less if we want to. That includes doing what is best for our bodies so that they can get well. That could include exercise, eat right, change our habits that are bad, to habits that are good for us. And, that's what they are, habits that we have grown accustomed to. We have grown lazy to sit and watch TV rather than get up exercise or do something that is good for us. Call a friend and go to lunch, find a hobby and do it. Find someone who needs help and help them, turn off the TV or the computer and get up and go.

Change your eating habits to get well, lose weight, and feel better. This is one of my goals. I know I need to change my food. I don't eat right, and I don't eat enough. Therefore; my metabolism is out of whack and I can't lose weight. I have exercised for a year with a friend and not lost weight. I have toned up and strengthened my body, but not lost weight. Last year I could barely do one push up now it's no problem to do 25 or 30. I can see the differences, just imagine if I had been eating right to! I know what I have to do for me, do you know what you have to do for you? Quit making excuses and change your habits. If you don't change then don't complain. The bible says what we speak about we bring about, so we need to speak what is good for us and not the negative things. Think about how many times you say I don't feel good or this hurts or I'm so sick. Every day we speak these things over us and don't even realize what we are doing. Just imagine if you were always saying how good you feel instead of the opposite. It would change your mind on how to deal with it if nothing else. We give so much time to the aches and pains that they take over, and I have been a queen in this area. After all I have real aches, and they hurt. But, I also talk about them everyday, to myself if not someone else. It's a habit. Oh well, this strep throat has made me realize what true pain is. I do not have a pain that needs so much devotion as I have given them in the last 20 years. My devotion is going in a positive direction. I am going to do something about it and not sit and mope about it anymore. The light bulb has come on and I thank God it did.

Pray for me, I need those prayers, Uylonda

Tempted and Tried

I was wondering if I'm being tested by God today. In the last week there have been things happen that I never would of thought about at one time, let alone them all happening in the same week. I know God is seeing how I'm going to handle it when other people need me to help them. And as soon as you take a step and say I'm ready willing and able Lord, He gives it to you! I think I handled it well with His help. I have been thanked over and over by those I helped, and they were in a crisis. None of them are related or know one another either. That is how it goes. I literally asked God, why? I said God, I can handle one crisis and am willing to help them, but God three! They have all calmed down now, and I'm thankful they have.

I also have reconnected with some friends that I haven't talked to in a while. I had lunch with one today, it was nice. We needed it. Don't think that people are to busy for you. Give them a call and let them know that your not to busy for them either! In my daily devotional (last week no less), it said to reconnect with a friend. That was scary in a way. My friend has been through a lot in the last little bit, but she was trying to reconnect with me to. So I just did it and we talked on the phone for an hour and forty minutes, just like we used to. But God moves things for us when He wants us to move. He wanted to see how I would handle a crisis and I handled them with love. I wasn't selfish with my time. I just did it. I'm not bragging on me, I'm bragging on God. He has changed me into someone I didn't use to be. I would always help someone, but wish at the same time I didn't have to! I always wanted to be like my husband in this area. He goes at the drop of a hat if someone calls and needs him. I was glad he would, because I didn't have to!! Sounds awful, but it's true. Thank God those days are gone. God is doing all this to get us into position to be in ministry for Him. It amazes me how much I want to do this. I pray for things to do for God. I tell Him that I have so much time to do His work, would He please give me some. I want to work for Him daily.

There is only one way that He will use you though. And that is through obedience to His word. He says pray, read, and study to show yourself approved. I love to read, it's one of my most favorite things to do. I love to write as well! I write about what I have studied or read, or even about things I have heard from God about. He will talk to you if you spend time with Him. It is awesome when He does! He doesn't always say a lot, sometimes just one word, but when He does it's powerful.

Anyway, I wasn't planing on writing today, but I was put to another test and I had to write. It helps me. Pray for me and my family, we truly need it. When you step up for God, the devil attacks in ways you can't imagine! He is NOT going to win, God is in control.

Be Blessed, Uylonda

Walk the talk you talk

Well, I have come a long way since the 15th of this month. God has changed me already. I learned alot that day. We truly have to pay attention to how we talk, not only the words we speak, but the tone in which we say them. I am learning how to change it everyday. I learned a lot from my mother in this area. She is the only person I have ever known to truly change how she talked to people. (She went to Heaven July 13th, 1996.) When we were growing up she talked mean to us even if she didn't mean to. Sounds funny, but it's true. Her tone of voice was so mean that I was afraid of her at times. I never knew if she was being mean or mad, or what. As I grew up it caused me to be angry at her. She didn't know how to articulate her words. She had one tone and it was grouchy. I would stay away from her when I could. Not, that she was mean to me, but I honestly never knew if she was really mad or not. I grew up the same way! I learned from her how to talk to people. I just didn't pay any attention to how I was perceived by people. It just wasn't something I would do. But, their were so many people who told me I didn't have to sound so mean, or mad. This in turn would make me mad because I wasn't mad! What a tangled web we weave.

I was talking to my stepmother yesterday and she was talking about my niece who is 2. She is adorable, and my 18 year old daughter was saying something to her, and she said Halley don't be mean. My step mother said we have to watch how we talk to children, they grow up and talk just like we talked to them. My heart hurt because I knew I had done to my daughter what my mother had done to me. What a web we are weaving! I pray that my children will not let the way I talked to them do to their lives what was done to me.

I love my mother more today than I did when she was alive. I have grown so much since her death because of my children. I now know what she went through. I also know that she was never taught by anyone any other way to talk or how to treat people. But, in the years before she died she changed. She became loving to everyone, and everyone loved her. God changed her when she asked Him to. She was so kind and sweet that I want to be just like her. She let God change her heart and that changed her tone and attitude, and I have a great example in her. If I can only have what she had and talk to people the way she did, I will be happy. She had a way about her that everyone, strangers and family and friends knew she truly cared. She loved everyone and they knew it. What a legacy to leave behind. I truly miss her and wish that I could tell her how she changed me. She would be so happy to hear her child say ( I want to be like you.)

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me!! Oh yes they can, they can destroy you from the inside out. Learn how to listen to the tone of your voice and how people perceive you. It can truly be an eye opening experience.

God Bless you, Uylonda

Am I mean or just sound like it?

Lord empty me of any selfish pride so I can be more like you. I started this blog after reading Angie's in Bring the Rain about losing her baby. I knew she was helping others in ways she may never know. I have not lost a child, but I have had alot of pain in my life that has been taken away by my father in heaven. I know that I can help others as well. But, I am still learning that there are still things I have not dealt with. Just yesterday I learned that I still am angry. I'm sorry Lord. Please empty me of all that stands in your way of using me the way you want to. It hurts me to know that I show people a side of me that I don't want to. I want that part of me gone. I thought it was. But, there was someone who was strong enough to let me know that I am mean! I don't mean to be and I don't know that I'm sounding that way. It's just the way I talk. But, at the same time it's not. I have to deal with (ME) and find out why I'm sounding like I'm still angry at everyone. God is so awesome. He lets us know even what we don't want to know. It hurts to have to deal with the fact that people think I'm grouchy and mean. I honestly don't feel that way inside. But, apparently I am still dealing with it somewhere, or not dealing with it. God is getting ready to use me and my husband in an awesome way, and I have to be whole. He let me know that I need to purge myself of a pride that says I'm going to get you before you get me. So, I sound mean the way I talk, not meaning to, but still doing so. This makes people think I don't like them and I don't care. This is just a tool of the enemy, Satan. I have to have a heart of compassion to do the work I've been called into. With my voice the way it is now it seems as if I'm not compassionate. But, I am. So, God called me on it. I havc to change this and get rid of that which is in me that is not of God. A grouchy spirit is not of Him. We are called to have the fruit of the spirit which is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Sprit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-26 We are to be like Him. How can we show who He is if we are not walking like Him? He is love, and I have to show that love. I do love everyone, even those who have hurt me. I have compassion for them. My job is to show God's love for mankind so they will want to know Him. Saying I'm happy and in love with the Lord, but being grouchy, people will not want what I have. I'm sorry Father, forgive me. Thank you Lord for showing me what I need to change about myself.

Changing ourselves is the hardest thing to do. It is getting rid of self. The flesh doesn't want to do what is right and good, but the spirit does. We have to look at ourself, and what we do that is not pleasing to the Lord. Looking at yourself hurts. You will cry, I have cried since yesterday. It hurts me that I hurt my Lord. I have asked His forgiveness and I am changing what is in me that causes me to seem like I'm mean.

Gotta go now, see you later Uylonda