Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I wouldn't want to do 2010 over

This has been a year to forget, I mean remember.!! NOT!!! I wouldn't want to do 2010 over, and pray I never have to endure this junk again. One day I will write it all out on here. It won't be to long from now, but not at this moment. My life has been in turmoil for quite a while now, and I am just coming out of the storm. I pray no more. Just this week I have actually felt at peace with how things are starting to look. I know God is in control, and boy have I tested His patience with me in the last year. The devil has thrown so many things in my direction to try and stop my walk with God. I even contemplated some of them. Yes, I have been weak. I still am, but I am getting my strength back. I thank God, that He has not let go of me. We are not worthy of His grace and mercy, but He gives it to us anyway. There have been times this year that I have been so distraught that I would not listen to God. I was so angry and hurt with the ways things were going that I just said not now God. I literally said that. Am I pleased with that? No. Am I ashamed of it? No. I learned a great lesson in the walk I have had with God this year. I am excited to go with the changes that are coming. I have matured in the Lord this year and matured myself this year. We never stop learning as long as we are living if we are open to that opportunity; and I was. I have got to do what I posted in my last post in March of this year. Got to get a grasp of that thing with in me, and change what needs to be changed no matter what. Change for the better is good, and I need that change. Why I have fought it so long I don't know. But, I do know that I don't want to fight that change which needs to be done any more. It is not a coincidence of the things that have happened to get me where I am. I am thankful for it all. I trust in the Lord so much more, and I need to show Him just that. He is waiting on me. I don't have to wait on Him, He just needs to hear me say I am taking that step toward you Lord, and He will run to me when I do. Just like the prodigal son in the bible. He left his father and came back hoping to work as a slave for him, and his father saw him coming home from a long way off and ran to his son. He didn't wait for his son to get there, when he saw him coming home He went to him. The same is true of our Father in Heaven. He will come to us if we just turn to Him. I love Him so, and thank Him for every thing; good and bad. Because His word says, all things work together for good, to those that love the Lord their God. Romans 8:28 And, I love Him so.

Pray for me and I am praying for you, Uylonda