Well, I have come a long way since the 15th of this month. God has changed me already. I learned alot that day. We truly have to pay attention to how we talk, not only the words we speak, but the tone in which we say them. I am learning how to change it everyday. I learned a lot from my mother in this area. She is the only person I have ever known to truly change how she talked to people. (She went to Heaven July 13th, 1996.) When we were growing up she talked mean to us even if she didn't mean to. Sounds funny, but it's true. Her tone of voice was so mean that I was afraid of her at times. I never knew if she was being mean or mad, or what. As I grew up it caused me to be angry at her. She didn't know how to articulate her words. She had one tone and it was grouchy. I would stay away from her when I could. Not, that she was mean to me, but I honestly never knew if she was really mad or not. I grew up the same way! I learned from her how to talk to people. I just didn't pay any attention to how I was perceived by people. It just wasn't something I would do. But, their were so many people who told me I didn't have to sound so mean, or mad. This in turn would make me mad because I wasn't mad! What a tangled web we weave.
I was talking to my stepmother yesterday and she was talking about my niece who is 2. She is adorable, and my 18 year old daughter was saying something to her, and she said Halley don't be mean. My step mother said we have to watch how we talk to children, they grow up and talk just like we talked to them. My heart hurt because I knew I had done to my daughter what my mother had done to me. What a web we are weaving! I pray that my children will not let the way I talked to them do to their lives what was done to me.
I love my mother more today than I did when she was alive. I have grown so much since her death because of my children. I now know what she went through. I also know that she was never taught by anyone any other way to talk or how to treat people. But, in the years before she died she changed. She became loving to everyone, and everyone loved her. God changed her when she asked Him to. She was so kind and sweet that I want to be just like her. She let God change her heart and that changed her tone and attitude, and I have a great example in her. If I can only have what she had and talk to people the way she did, I will be happy. She had a way about her that everyone, strangers and family and friends knew she truly cared. She loved everyone and they knew it. What a legacy to leave behind. I truly miss her and wish that I could tell her how she changed me. She would be so happy to hear her child say ( I want to be like you.)
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me!! Oh yes they can, they can destroy you from the inside out. Learn how to listen to the tone of your voice and how people perceive you. It can truly be an eye opening experience.
God Bless you, Uylonda
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Words really can hurt you, even more so than physical things sometimes. I know what you mean about watching your tone, I've tried to manage that myself with Raegan. Sometimes I am so busy and stressed out with life that I just say things in a really harsh way to her and I don't even mean to. I know that it hurts her because she doesn't understand why I am mad, even though I'm not really mad. Granny was truly a remarkable person and we should all strive to be like her! If everyone in our family could be like her, imagine how happy we all would be! I love you, and I have seen the changes in you over the years. You should be proud of your accomplishments, not everyone can make the changes in life that you have made. Keep up the good work and keep shining your light for those of us that are seeking it!
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