Well here I am down, but not out. The Lord is in control. The enemy is trying to destroy our life and we are not going to let him. The bible says in Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. So there you have it. We are suffering, but I take it with the love of Christ. If He suffered for me I can suffer for Him. It does not make it feel any better in my flesh, but my spirit is at peace with it. I may not always know what to say when I'm talking and hurting, but know that my faith in the Lord is NOT diminished in any way. We are on a path the Lord has laid before us, and nothing will stand in His way of accomplishing it; if we are in His will. In Phil 4:6 it says be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. v7 and the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. It means don't worry, no matter how sad you are, or how upset you are, or how bad the situation is; don't worry. Leave it with the Lord. I have talked about my fears this week with people, but it does not mean I am letting myself be overwhelmed with it. It is just when we dwell on things continually that it overwhelms us. I am dwelling on the Lord. In times past I would have dwelled on this and everyone would have known it. I would talk and talk and talk, negatively about things. Now I don't, my fears do come out, but I'm human and that's OK. But, it's wrong to let it change my perception of life and my faith in the Lord. I heard a preacher say that if your doing something for God and it seems like everything is coming against you and hell is right in front of you, God is right there to. If we weren't getting close to the promise that God has for us the enemy wouldn't be trying so hard to destroy what God has built up. That's exciting to me. It means the more Satan throws at us the closer we are. It's how we handle what he throws that affects us. I am praying for this to pass soon, and I will continue to pray until it does. My fears wont take over, my faith in the Lord will. If I gave up and said OK I can't do this what does it accomplish? It doesn't accomplish anything, but defeat. I have to rejoice in the Lord, Phil 4:4 says Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Just quoting these verses makes me feel better. The enemy wants us to feel bad. If he can get us to concentrate on the things going wrong in our life, it gets us to take our mind off God. This is the very plan he has set before us, to destroy us. But, God says in Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. It's a Philippians night. It's a good word from the Lord that's why. Feel your pain, but don't let it destroy you. The bible also says in Ecc. 1:9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is nothing new under the sun. Ecc 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time pluck up that which is planted: 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and time of peace.

God is in control, I will praise Him and let Him know that I believe in Him. The way you talk to your earthly father is how God wants you to talk to Him, with faith that it's OK to talk to Him. So, talk to Lord and see what He has to say to you. Thank you God for listening to me, and making me feel better.

Thanks to my dad for talking to me tonight. I love you.

Please pray for my family, Uylonda